A lot of people who could not get tickets (invitations) to see the Bolshoi Ballet have been coming home to see our dog, Bolshoi the Boxer. Which is fine with me. I mean, if people can get some cultural satisfaction out of merely seeing an old dog, why should I object! However, what I do not like is that it is all going to Bolshoi's head.
For instance, only this morning he was telling me: "Do you think we should serve vodka to all the people who come here to see me!"
"I don't think we should do anything of the sort," I said. "It is bad enough your wearing pink ballet shoes and receiving the guests."
Bolshoi said: "If not vodka, we can give them Russian tea from a samovar. I understand that when Mr. Gorbachow called on President Reagan at the White House, he was served tea from a samovar over a fireplace. Perhaps, we could build a fireplace in the drawing-room, it is cold enough for that these evening.
"You are letting your imagination carry you away, " I said. "You are not Gorbhachov called on President Reagan at the White House, he was served tea from a samovar over a fireplace. Perhaps, we could build a fireplace in the drawing-room, it is cold enough for that these evenings."
"You are letting your imagination carry you away," I said. "You guests are not Ranald Reagan, and none of you are signing any world peace treaty. In any case I am getting tired of all these people coming evening after evening to see you thinking you are the Bolshoi Ballet."
"I know, the number of people is increasing," Bolshoi said. "It is therefore I have been considering that you should hire. The Homi Bhabha Auditorium for a week or two, the house is too small to hold them all."
"You can stop considering right there," I said. "What do you think, the Homi Bhabha is some showrooom for the kennel club! Besiders, even the authentic Bolshoi troupe, the one which has stayed back in Moscow and not fill the Homi Bhabha for two weeks."
"You have always been critical of the Russians and you continue to be so even now when the Americans have accepted them and voted Mr. Gorbachov to be more popular than Mr. Reagan," Bolshoi said.
"Let us not get into a political discussion early in the morning," I said. "And, one more thing, whether people come to see you or not, we are not going to play any more of that heavy Russian music. I find it very depressing."
"I cannot very well dance without music," Bolshoi said.
"I was coming to that," I said. "You don't have to dance, and please don't try to give your autographs, you are making a mess of it. Just wag your tail or bark or some thing."
"I do not wag my tail," Bolshoi said. "And, if you want a barking dog, you know where to find one."