I present 35 (thirty-five) suggestions on how to combat the Mumbai summer heat:
1. Go away. Go to Matheran, Mahabaleshwar, Panchgani, or go to Ooty in the south, or Shimla in the north, or Darjeeling in the east.
2. Go to Switzerland, by Swissair.
3. Donít go to work, stay at home, unless your office is air-conditioned and your home is not. Then go to work on Sundays also.
4. Buy yourself an air-conditioner. Yes, any brand you like and can afford, I am not selling air conditioners.
5. Drink Fanta
6. Have Parsi Dairy kulfi
7. Have a dip in the sea at Juhu, or visit a municipal swimming pool (I think the Andheri one is still working, but I am not sure, check it out), or the Oberoi swimming pool.
8. Eat plenty of fruits.
9. Drink chilled beer. Then drink some more chilled beer.
10. Wear Proline shirts. They are the coolest, take my word for it.
11. Buy a lungi, and wear it, donít just keep it.
12. Spend your afternoons in a cinema hall. Sue the management if the air-conditioning is not working.
13. Open the refrigerator door and stand in front to if.
14. Sleep under a fan. This is recommended to people who do not have air-conditioners.
15. Take a piece of muslin, put some crushed ice in it (not too crushed), fold the cloth, and put it against your hot brow.
16. Drink Fanta. I know I said that once before ó I want you to have a second Fanta.
17. Proceed to Bhawcha Dhaka and take a ride in a ferry service.
18. Sit under a tree in park. What, no trees at PDP! Then wait till they grow.
19. Take a Cool Cab.
20. Fix mats in front of your windows and splash water on them. I understand they do this in Delhi, very effective.
21. Go for a walk in the Colaba Woods.
22. Go for a picnic in Sanjay Gandhi National Park.
23. Donít discuss politics, donít even think of it.
24. Go to the outskirts of Panvel, select a nice juicy watermelon, bring it home, and have it, cool.
25. Do not discuss with environmentalists why the weather is getting warmer each summer.
26. Eat Gulkand.
27. Apply Zandu Balm.
28. Watch programmes on skiing and ice skating on ESPN.
29. Have a shower.
30. Have a tub bath.
31. Have a bath.
32. Sit in the Taj lobby. Look like you are waiting for somebody important who is staying at the hotel.
33. Have a salad lunch at Not Just Jazz By The Bay.
34. Apply Johnsonís Baby Powder.
35. Think positive. Think, the warmer it gets, the sooner the monsoon will arrive.