A lot of people have been wondering what the Congress I will do with the thousands of toilet seats at the Mahalaxmi racecourse once its centenary session is over. Several suggestions have been made. The following are some of them.
Donate them to the pavement dwellers.
Donate them do the mayor for his Swach Mumbai programme.
Give each Congress delegate one toilet seat each to take with him when he returns home.
Present them to the Royal Western India Turf Club as a mark of appreciation for its having provided the club's premises to the Congress.
Bury them under the Mahalaxmi turf.
Take them out in a boat and drown them in the sea.
Given Taj permission to build a hotel at the NCPA with the provision that all the bathrooms should be equipped with the congress toilet seats.
Send them all to Delhi and let them deal with them.
Ask A.F.S. Talyarkhan to auction them at the time of the annual bloodstock sales and auctions of the RWITC. ("How much am I bid for this excellent toilet pot used by the honorable MLA from Patna?")
Put them up in permanent Congress centenary exhibition.
Use them as flowers pots along Marine Drive Worli Seaface and Mahim Causeway.
Export them to the Gulf.
Export them to France.
Sell them at discount to Indian Railway, Indian Airlines Air India any public sector undertaking that is running at loss.
Let them be at Mahalaxmi for the snakes, who have been dishoused at present, to return and use them as their nests. That is provided the snakes do not mind.
Keep them at Mahalaxmi for the joggers to use (the joggers are not likely to mind).
Sell them to the traffic department to use as road dividers and to mark the borders of trafficislands.
Put them up at street corners for people to use. Each toilet may carry plaque donated by the Congress Centenary Celebrations Committee.
Pressurise an industrialist to buy them. What he does with them after that is his own affair.
Let the chief minister appoint a special sub-committee, with Mr. Murli Deora at the head to suggest how best to dispose of the toilet seats.
Leave it all in the hands of Mr. Rajiv Gandhi and let him decide.