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   The other day, I had gone to the Bombay Dyeing Store... (September 9, 1996)

The other day, I had gone to the Bombay Dyeing Store to do some shopping. A lot of political types were around, doing their shopping, I noticed.

The salesman inquired: "Bed-sheets or towels?"

"Well, I don't know, I haven't made up my mind," I said.

"Bed-sheets," the salesman said firmly, making up my mind for me.

"Thank you," I said.

"Now, then, do you want for a double bed or single, or do you want an extra-double?"

"I've got only single beds in the house," I said.

"What's that got to do with it! You don't want bed-sheets to spread on your beds," the salesman said.

"Why else would I want bedsheets!" I inquired. I've already got one to cover my TV."

"If you want to act so coy about it, act," the salesman said. "We all know what you politicians want bed-sheets for. And, remember, at Bombay Dyeing your secret is safe."

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said. "And I have no secrets for you to keep, and, another thing, I am not a politician."

"If you are not a politician, then why are you buying bed-sheets," the salesman said.

A customer, whose face looked familiar, and who could have been a minister or an ex-minister, asked: "Could I be of some help?"

The salesman informed: "This gentleman wants to buy a bed-sheet and cannot make up his mind."

"Oh, is that all," the cuustomer said. "Allow me to advise. If you have got a good sum of money, then buy a double-bed sheet. However, if you've got still more money, then I suggest you buy several single bed-sheets and tie the money in separate lots."

"I don't want to tie any money in bed-sheets," I said.

"Believe me, it is the best way to keep your money, even if the CBI has caught on to it," the customer said. "And remember to deposit the budles in different houses. That way, even if they find a few crores, they miss out on several more crores."

"You have been very kind," I said, "but, please understand, I need a bed-sheet only for my bed. In fact, come to think of it, I don't even need it for the bed."

"Now, you are talking sense, you don't need the bed-sheet for your bed, you need it to tie your money," the salesman said. "Do you have any special colour in mind?"

"We always use white bed-sheets," I said.

"Not advisiable," the salesman said. "Black money in white bed-sheets, I can see the headlines. The newspapers will go to town on that. It will give our shop a bad name."

"This has gone too far," I said. "I want to see your proprietor."

Mr. Nusli Wadia was brought to me. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"The trouble is your shop," I said. "They are insisting I should keep my money in your bed-sheet, I would rather keep it in a safe."

"Ah, safe!" Mr. Wadia said. "Then the man you want to see is Adi Godrej."

 
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