As everybody knows Mr. Sharad Pawar has been apponted as salesman for Congress culture. Salesman for Congress culture. Which is fine, as long as he is selling it to Mr. Ramkrishna Hegde or Mr. Unnikrishana, but it could otherwise be a nuisance.
For instance this morning I was informed that there was a large, round-faced gentleman at the door "selling something".
"Not another salesman early in the day, I don't understand how the building society allows these chaps to enter the place," I said.
In any case, I went to the door. "My name if Pawar," the man said, "You must have heard of me, I was honoured recently at a convention of salesman in Aurangabad."
"I don't have time to follow the activities of conventions of salesmen," I said . "And, in any case, whatever you are selling, I have no intention of buying. Try next door, the lady there buys everything."
"I am selling Congress culture," Mr. Pawar said, placing a large foot in the door and jamming it. "I am sure you will be interested in buying a piece of it. Recently, I sold it to thousands and thousands of Congress-S members and they all accepted it even though they did not know what they were buying."
"Well then, sell them some more, I am not interested," I said. "And, now, please remove your foot from the door, otherwise I'll call my dog."
Mr. Pawar put his foot in more firmly: "I never take no for an answer and I can wait here forever for you to change your mind. That is the secret of my success. With my petinence I have even sold Congress culture to Congressmen, including Mr. Rajiv Gandhi."
"I am happy for you," I said, "but whatever this Congress culture is, I am not interested in buying it and no amount of your waiting here is going to make any difference. Now, please, you must let me go, I have to dress up and go to work."
Mr. Pawar said: "Give me just two minutes to explain what Congress culture is. It is a very popular culture and these days everybody is going in for it. not only people who formerly had large stocks of Congress culture and had given it up, but even new people who never had any Congress culture. Once you have had it, you will never regret it."
"That does not mean anything to me. If I buy Congress culture, I want to know what I will get out of it," I said.
"The sky is the limit," Mr. Pawar said. "You may become a roving ambassador like Mr. Kissinger or a minister. Why, if you buy enough Congress culture, they may remove Mr. Shankarrao Chavan and make you the chief minister of Maharashtra. Now, tell me, is it sale?"
So I bought some Congress culture. And, when I came back into the house and the wife asked what I had gone and bought this time, I said: "I honestly do not know. The man sold me Congress culture, but he did not give me anything. He said it was like a Congress election promise, you never saw it."